Gratitude Journal : Entry 1

I did not awake on Friday saying to myself ‘hey, I need to start a gratitude journal.’ I only showered and got ready to see my former coworker. That was my only change. I ate lunch with her and immediately I realized that I was in isolation and could not do it alone. I was glued to my computer because I was applying for jobs, checking emails to see if I got phone interviews and received rejection letters. I also stayed on the computer completing my book edits and sending money to get it promoted. Removing myself from my virtual world by stepping into the real world and interacting with a human disconnected to a computer had a profound effect on me. When she said that something good would happen, it ignited my internal fire. I felt like I could rebound from all of the disappointment from not just this week but ever since losing my last consulting job in August.

Suet later wanted me to return to my first federal agency to see my former coworkers. Initially I declined because I did not want to see those people but relented because I did not want to disappoint her. Returning gave me another epiphany. I held onto this longstanding belief (still did) that I was the survivor. I managed not only to get out from there but also 1500 by earning my certifications and tripling my income. I started off there in 2006 earning $44K. Last August I made $115K. Those people who stayed incomes were stagnant. Yes, my second former federal agency was a horrible experience but had I stayed at at my former first federal agency, I would had lost my apartment because the cost of living exceeded my paycheck. When I interacted with them, I began to empathized with them being abandoned by other coworkers leaving there to stay in DC and moving to Maryland. I did not feel bad for the she-devil who was still stuck because she royally showed her tail at my going away party. However, I did understand that they were human beings too. As I walked back home, I admitted that my day was better having eaten with Suet and meeting my former coworkers.

I still had no desire of starting a gratitude journal until watching Arvin Poole’s periscope. He was filming Mario Armstrong’s Kim Coles interview. She was talking about someone telling her to take the 30-day gratitude challenge. Mind you she was in the middle of bankruptcy and foreclosure when someone advised her to undertake the challenge. Now I would had hit that person with the ‘Stop the BS!’ because I had real problems. However, Kim Coles undertook it and her life started changing. Her interview signaled to me that I should undertake my own 30-day gratitude challenge. I was not bankrupt or hit foreclosure and had no desire of getting there; but, I admitted that something needed to change. With my own 30-day gratitude challenge, I decided not to feel bad if I repeated the same gratitude. Finding 150 new and different things to be grateful for were too overwhelming. I was just grateful that I started and not holding myself to this gargantuan task. Moreover, as a Type A, I wrote down more than 5. I knew that I could be grateful for more than 5 things on any given day.
So here was my first entry to my gratitude journal:

1. Have friends who love me
2. Have family who loves to interact with me
3. Have the money to pay my rent
4. To be good enough to give directions
5. To be alive and live in DuPont Circle
6. Both of my parents are living
7. I can learn from anyone
8. I can wear whatever I want
9. I legitimately own my own business
10. I have the financial cushion